Birth Certificates Please!

"SOBER GRINGO" Tour 2006 Match Results & Reports

2006-04-27T04:55:00.000-07:00

Group Games
Brentwood 0 - Harpenden 5
Brentwood 5 - Tondu 5
Brentwood 20 - Bognor Regis 0
Challenge Cup Semi Final
Brentwood 35 - Dartfordians 0
Challenge Cup Final
Brentwood 15 - Tondu 5

Tour match reports by Becky Bassenger

Brentwood’s first game of the tournament was against Harpenden A and probably due to the very late night they’d had before hand the boys started even slower than normally. Although they put pressure on the catcher from the kick off Harpenden retained the ball and shipped it out quickly. A loose pass fell well for them and the ball was chipped over the Brentwood defence. The ball bounced kindly and was recollected by one of the Harpenden players who sprinted towards the posts and looked to be in but Joel Ison somehow managed to get back and make a huge last ditch tackle to prevent a certain try. Harpenden however were awarded a 5 metre scrum and scored on the blindside using a loop move to create an overlap and outnumber the Brentwood defenders. With conversions not being taken as games were only 12 minutes a half it was 5-0 Harpenden. From then on Brentwood dominated both possession and territory but was not clinical enough and failed to capitalise. Harpenden should however be given much credit for keeping Brentwood out and even more for somehow managed to almost spear tackle James Paton, leaving many Brentwood spectators in awe of how they managed to lift him up in the first place! Final score 5-0 to Harpenden but a pretty good, if not frustrating, performance from the boys.

Next up were the Welsh team Tondu, a formidable looking outfit who had been running in tries for fun against Bognor in their previous match. It was again a very lethargic start from Brentwood as Tondu were looking lethal with great hands and good running and soon some slick passing saw them cross the line for a good score. 5-0 to Tondu. During the next break in play Bill Bassenger ran on and gave the ref a pint to ‘re-hydrate’ him. Is this how low we’ve sunk now? Trying to bribe the ref with beer…disgraceful! Fortunately the boys seemed to perk up a bit and had all the possession and territory but again lacked the finishing. In the second half a series of good mauls were formed which saw Brentwood march over the try line. Although the ball was clearly held up a penalty try was awarded for Tondu persistently infringing at the maul. 5 all and for the rest of the game both teams battled furiously to try and get the win making a tense yet highly exciting game to watch and at full time the scores were still level.

The final pool game was against the home team, Bognor. To go through to the main cup they’d need to score something like 13 tries, Billy assure me he’d score at least 8 which was extremely unlikely given that he struggles to score that many in a season! The game started in an interesting way as the boys (since the coaches were far too drunk to control them) all lined up on the half way line and much to the bemusement of the spectators and the opposing team performed the Macarena haka, bum wiggles and all. Boys the idea is to intimidate the opposition, not make them fall over laughing!
Brentwood piled on the pressure and despite being camped in the Bognor 22 only managed to score shortly before the interval through Sam Morgan who took the ball from a scrum and did a diving roll over the try line to touch down. Should he have been fined for showboating’? At half time it was 5-0 Brentwood. The second period started brightly with Sam Fry coming in off his wing and making a good run before offloading to the supporting Jake who brushed off a tackle to score. 10-0 Brentwood. Surprisingly Billy was next to score although one try is not the eight I was promised! 15-0. The end of the second half saw Sam Morgan break from another scrum on half way. He went flying down the touchline and no one could stop him scoring in the corner. Game over and the final score 20-0 to Brentwood. The four tries however weren’t the thirteen or so needed to get into the cup but the win qualified them for the Challenge cup.
The boys were advised to get back to Butlins and get a good nights sleep after a gruelling days rugby in preparation for the semi final the following day but that was never going to happen. Especially given the example being set by the parents with the vast majority being completely bladdered by the time the games ended at around 5.30.

Following the previous days drinking there were some sore heads and bruised bodies (following drink related accidents like falling off chairs!) standing on the touchline as the semi final kicked off against Dartfordians on Sunday afternoon.
Brentwood started infuriatingly, not seeming to take the right options at crucial moments but after a good deal of pressure Jake crashed over to score, 5-0 Brentwood. From the restart however Brentwood did take the right options with Roland taking a good catch and making a nice run before passing to Sam Fry who carried the ball on further before being hauled down. The ball was recycled and Chris McCarthy gained some more metres before offloading to Jordan who headed for the corner but was just put into touch, a real shame as it would have been a brilliant try! Brentwood then conceded a penalty allowing Dartford to clear their line but snaffled the ball from the lineout on halfway. Jake decided to take matters into his own hands and ran straight through the middle of the Dartford defence to touch down unopposed. 10-0. Brentwood were now looking increasingly dangerous and a clever cross field kick by Stuart nearly came off, just bouncing the wrong way as Roland raced to gather it. Not long after a good maul was set up and Carl was driven over with the aid of the rest of his forwards. 15-0 Brentwood. Things then got even better as Chris Doble took the restart and set off on a storming run downfield. He offloaded to Jake who looked to have broken free but was just caught by the shirt. However like all good flankers should be Charlie was in support, Jake passed and Charlie was over the line to score, 20-0 and half time. The second half started well for Brentwood immediately with Roland taking the restart and running the ball back. William picked it up when it went to ground and then it was popped up to James who carried but the ball was unfortunately dropped into touch. However Billy nicked the lineout and offloaded to Charlie who went over for his second, 25-0. Next up was an awesome maul that flew up the field at a rate of knots from which Billy peeled off and raced over to score. 30-0 and two tries for Billy in one weekend, an occurrence more rare than a blue moon! The final score of the game saw some good hands from Adam, Sam Fry and Jordan that culminated in Jordan going over in the corner, 35-0 to Brentwood. Despite the score Dartfordians continued to battle on and the boys spent most of the last part of the game defending their, some thumping tackles just denying Dartford.

The win took them into the final for a rematch with Welsh side Tondu. Brentwood yet again started extremely slowly, a dropped restart leading to a penalty for holding on and Tondu showing again how dangerous their handling was with a good try being scored. Not exactly the dream start, Brentwood were 5-0 down. Not long after though Brentwood began to wake up with Sam Morgan making a good run but just not quite making it all the way. From a scrum Jake took the ball into contact and Matt Gray was on hand to rip the ball and crash over. 5 all. The forwards were beginning to rumble as from a tap penalty Sam Morgan made some more metres, Chris McCarthy took the ball further and a ruck was set up near the touchline. From the ruck James Paton, playing on the wing, was given the ball on the blindside and with his deceptive speed and not so deceptive power the defender stood no chance as he was swatted aside and James surged over to give Brentwood a 10-5 lead. By now Brentwood were controlling the game by starving the talented Tondu players of any ball, the forwards marched downfield with a series of mauls and eventually gained a penalty around 7 metres out. The ball was tapped and chucked to Sam Morgan who managed to smash his way over, 15-5 to Brentwood. The second half saw Brentwood camped in the Tondu half and a good catch and run from a loose kick by Sam Fry looked to be about to put Brentwood in for their fourth but the last pass didn’t quite go to hand. This was to be the story of a scoreless second half with Brentwood creating lots of pressure with some good offloads but failing to take advantage of their possession with the last pass normally going astray. After an extremely long second half to which someone was sarcastically heard to say “Only twenty minutes to go boys” despite a half only being 15 in the final, the whistle finally went. A good tour ended with the boys being presented the challenge cup!

Lastly a quick mention to Terri Morgan for bribing me this weekend with chocolate and cake and also Terry Hill for bribing me with his raffle prize of a nice make up bag and make up, there’s your mention in the match report!

"SOBER GRINGO" Tour, Bognor Regis 2006 Photo's

2006-04-26T05:24:00.000-07:00

Brentwood RFC Under 14's Bognor tour 2006

Action from the group game v Harpenden

Action from the group game v Tondu

Our lightweight backrow are just brushed aside!
Brentwood Haka

Sam scores, group game v Bognor Regis

Squeeze - Squeeze

Staurt kicks off the action on day 2

Billy attacks, semi-final v Old Dartfordians

Scrum action, final v Tondu

Chris breaks, final v Tondu

Jake receives the Challenge Cup for Brentwood

Brentwood RFC Under 14's - Cup Winners again!

Who are we - WOOD ARMY!!!!!

Messiah & Bill in court again

Ooh-oh-the-Oki-Koki

"SOBER GRINGO" Tour, Bognor Regis 2006

2006-04-13T04:16:00.000-07:00

Due to popular demand & because we are initiating a bunch of virgin tourists, (ho ho) The tour rules are basically as last year, and listed in the posts below, with the tour song sheets.

"SOBER GRINGO" Tour Rules

2006-04-11T04:22:00.000-07:00

For tour virgins, you must note that any adult found drinking soft drinks will be fined and could find themselves in court.
No Pointing (Elbows only)
No Swearing (Includes all references to F**tb**l)
No Arguing (This was new last year and did prove tricky for the ladies & therefore the backs as well)
Left Hand Drinking Only. However there will be right hand drinking calls. These will last for 1 hour and will start on the hour and must be called at least 1 hour in advance. No consecutive right handed drinking hours permitted.
Tour Shirts, once issued, to be worn at all times. Only dispensations are when playing or in bed (optional)
Not joining in on group song calls, when you MUST know most of the words, not just choruses. ( all lyrics are available below)

Unbelievably **2002** prices are held yet again at only 20p per fine

Sneaks to be announced in the bar at 8pm on Friday night along with the tour judge - Therefore attendance is COMPULSORY.

Fines cease after the court session on Sunday evening. Time of court session to be announced on tour, again attendance is COMPULSORY.

King Of The Road

2006-04-11T03:10:00.000-07:00

Trailer for sale or rent, Rooms to let...fifty cents.
No phone, no pool, no pets, I ain't got no cigarettes
Ah, but..two hours of pushin' broom, Buys an eight by twelve four-bit room
I'm a man of means by no means, King of the road.

Third boxcar, midnight train, Destination...Bangor, Maine.
Old worn out suit and shoes, I don't pay no union dues,
I smoke old stogies I have found, Short but not too big around
I'm a man of means by no means, King of the road.

I know every engineer on every train, All of their children, and all of their names
And every handout in every town, and every lock that ain't locked When no one's around.

I sing,Trailers for sale or rent, Rooms to let, fifty cents
No phone, no pool, no pets, I ain't got no cigarettes
Ah, but..two hours of pushin' broom, Buys an eight by twelve four-bit room
I'm a man of means by no means, King of the road.

Sloop John B

2006-04-11T03:09:00.000-07:00

We come on the sloop john b,
My grandfather and me,
Around nassau town we did roam.
Drinking all night, Got into a fight,
Well I feel so broke up, I want to go home.

So hoist up the john b’s sail,
See how the mainsail sets,
Call for the captain ashore, Let me go home,
Let me go home, I wanna go home,
(yeah yeah) Well I feel so broke up, I wanna go home.

The first mate he got drunk,
And broke in the cap’n’s trunk,
The constable had to come and take him away,
Sheriff john stone, Why don’t you leave me alone,
(yeah yeah) Well I feel so broke up, I wanna go home

So hoist up the john b’s sail,
See how the mainsail sets,
Call for the captain ashore, Let me go home,
Let me go home, I wanna go home,
(yeah yeah) Well I feel so broke upI wanna go home

The poor cook he caught the fits
And threw away all my grits
And then he took and he ate up all of my corn
Let me go home, Why don’t they let me go home
This is the worst trip I’ve ever been on

So hoist up the john b’s sail,
See how the mainsail sets,
Call for the captain ashore, Let me go home,
Let me go home, I wanna go home,
(yeah yeah) Well I feel so broke upI wanna go home

Build Me Up Buttercup

2006-04-11T03:00:00.000-07:00

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart

"I'll be over at ten", you told me time and again
But you're late, I wait around and then (bah dah dah)
I run to the door, I can't take any more,
It's not you, you let me down again(Hey, hey, hey!)
Baby, baby, try to find(Hey, hey, hey!)
A little time, and I'll make you happy(Hey, hey, hey!)
I'll be home, I'll be beside the phone waiting for youOoo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart

You were my toy, but I could be the boy you adore
If you'd just let me know (bah dah dah)
Although you're untrue, I'm attracted to you
all the more, Why do I need you so(Hey, hey, hey!)
Baby, baby, try to find(Hey, hey, hey!)
A little time and I'll make you happy(Hey, hey, hey!)
I'll be home, I'll be beside the phone waiting for you Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart
I-I-I need you-oo-oo more than anyone, baby
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart{fade}

Stand by Your Pack (Backs and their Family)

2006-04-11T02:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes its hard to be a Winger
Giving all your love to just one pack
You'll have bad times
And they'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand

But if you love them you'll forgive them
Even though there hard to understand
And if you love them
Oh be proud of them
Cause after all there just a pack

Stand by your pack
Give them two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your pack
And tell the world you love them
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your pack

Stand by your pack
And show the world you love them
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your pack

Swing On A Star (Forwards and their Family)

2006-04-11T02:57:00.000-07:00

Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a lock

A lock is an animal with short funny ears
Kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny but his brain is weak
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
And by the way, if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a lock

Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a prop

A prop is an animal with dirt on his face
His shoes are a terrible disgrace
He has no manners when he eats his food
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude
But if you don't care a feather or a fig
You may grow up to be a prop

Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a BACK

Day Dream Believer

2006-04-11T02:44:00.000-07:00

Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings
Of the bluebird as she sings.
The six o'clock alarm would never ring.
But it rings and I rise,
Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.
My shavin' razor's cold and it stings.

Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.

You once thought of me
As a white knight on a steed.
Now you know how happy I can be.
Oh, and our good times start and end
Without dollar one to spend.
But how much, baby, do we really need.

Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.
Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.

Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.
[Repeat and fade]